How to choose the right therapist for you

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A good way to find a therapist is through personal recommendation from a friend or colleague, however this might not always be possible, either because you don't want to let people know you are looking for a therapist, or you don't know anyone that might be able to recommend a therapist. 

You can be referred to therapy by a professional, like your GP. Therapy sessions through the NHS in the UK are often problem focused and short term usually offering a maximum of six sessions. This can be really helpful, the downside is that there is a long waiting list, and often when you are ready to start therapy, you don't want to have to wait 6-18 months to start. Health Insurance companies are better at offering limited mental health support, but again the choices can be limited, although it is a good place to start. 

There are several professional bodies in the UK including: 

BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists)

NCPS (National Counsellors and Psychotherapists Society)

UKCP (United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy)

They require that all their membership have a certain standard of practice that is responsible and safe, they all have a complaints procedure that protects you the client, as well as the therapists. These bodies all have lists of their therapists that you can contact. 

It is important that you feel you can build a therapeutic relationship with your therapist. However this does not necessary mean that you choose someone that has the same background as you. Try to choose a therapist that you feel you can be open and honest with. While you are not friends it helps to feel comfortable in their company. If you present with something that a therapist feels they are unable to work with then they should be able to let you know, and refer you to someone that might be more suitable. A therapist might not be able to work with you for a number of reasons, for example their lack of experience, or a personal situation that would make their work unprofessional, this does not reflect on what you are bringing rather shows that the therapist is responsible and honest about their capabilities.   

It is helpful to start with a goal in mind, even if that goal changes over time. That way you will know when you have achieved what you want to, and so will your therapist. My goal is to make myself redundant, that is when I know we have had a successful therapeutic relationship.   

When you feel that the sessions no longer work for you, finish them. Having said that it is important to have a 'good ending', meaning that a final session to acknowledge the work you have done and how you might take what you have learnt forward in the future. Most therapists will be happy to go back to working with you again at some point in the future once you have created that therapeutic relationship if you feel the need to return to therapy to explore another issue.
 

The sessions are about you. In our contemporary culture it can seem odd not to ask some personal questions of your therapist, i.e. how was your weekend/holiday. Some therapists will not answer any personal questions, to a point of being rude. My view that it is fine to ask some personal questions and the therapist to answer them where appropriate, bearing in mind that the sessions are about you and not what your therapist got up to at the weekend. You are also allowed not to ask your therapist any personal questions at all, as it is one of the few interactions where it is not expected and your therapist won't be offended.